Mega Man X Remake Comedy
by Humor News Cast
Summary: A comedy that kind of makes fun of all the characters for example Zero's name in this fanfic is 1,576 a.k.a. one. Well it's totally comedy and really really stupid so feel free to review. Love it! Like it! Hate it!! I really don't care just review.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Mega Man X and I do not own start wars or anything that has to do with Cindy Lauper end of story.   
  
AN: Written by Silverstiger and Nemesis  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
NOTE PLEASE READ:  
  
Nemesis: Hello and welcome to my MMX fanfic. This time instead of droping ten IQ points, you'll lose whatever intelligence you have.   
  
Zero: what's that supposed to mean?  
  
X: we'll become as dumb as a box of rocks.  
  
Zero: well that sucks. I'm suing!  
  
Silverstiger: you can't sue us.  
  
Zero: Why not?  
  
Nemesis: Because we have the power of the writing. We can make you do what ever we want.  
  
Zero: that's blackmail.  
  
Nemesis: For one thing it happens, and another thing we could have put you through another life or death situation, be thankful.  
  
Silverstiger: ok let's introduce our actors and their parts.  
  
Nemesis: please note that this is a fanfic to make fun of the names and all that other crap.  
  
Zero- 1,576  
  
X- Y  
  
Iris - Retina (AN: an Iris is the color part of you're eye and the Retina is the other part of the eye)  
  
Alia- Alisha a.k.a. Alibi   
  
Douglas - an innocent bystander  
  
Signas- Signal  
  
Sigma - some evil guy.  
  
Silverstiger: the rest you can figure out for yourself.  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
Y was walking up the steps of the maverick hunters base. He was supposed to be meeting his new commander, when he finally got to his destination he saw a guy...or girl standing next to signal.  
  
Signal: Hello this is you're new partner.  
  
New partner: Hello I'm 1,576 but you can just call me one.  
  
Y: um... I'm y  
  
One: Y?  
  
Y: because that's my name  
  
One: no I was just repeating the name y.  
  
Y: oh.  
  
Signal: don't worry one, this happens a lot.  
  
One: well what about the other reason  
  
Signal:...no I was just saying...oh forget it.  
  
**************************************************************  
  
Y: Here one, let me introduce you to the rest of our crew...well some of it.  
  
One: ok.  
  
Y took one to a navigator's office to find a girl there dancing to the song " girls just wanna have fun" by Cindy Lauper. She stopped when she saw the two hunters come in.  
  
Navigator: Oh Y, do you need anything.  
  
Y: I never asked for anything. What's your problem?  
  
Navigator: I was just saying you're name.  
  
Y: ....I hate it when this happens.  
  
Navigator: Well then let me rephrase the question...do you need anything?  
  
Y: No I just came in here to introduce you to my new partner.  
  
One: I'm 1,576 but you can call me one.  
  
Navigator: I'm Alisha but people call me Alibi ( If you don't know what Alibi means it means "an excuse or to give and excuse")  
  
One: why?  
  
Y: what?  
  
One: I was asking her a question.  
  
Y: oh.  
  
Alibi: Something about me making all these excuses when I "accidentally" direct the hunter into a death trap.  
  
One: It happens. (Nemesis comes out of nowhere and starts to tackle him.)  
  
Nemesis: You stupid jerk! That's my line!  
  
One: I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!!!!  
  
Y: Ok Nemesis. Put the one down and slowly step away. We need another person to finish writing the fanfic.  
  
Nemesis: *glares at Y* Y, are you always defending the innocent?  
  
Y: Because I like defending the innocent.  
  
Nemesis: No I was.... JUST GET YOU'RE NAME CHANGED!!!!! (Nemesis runs off stage)  
  
(Silverstiger comes in)  
  
Silverstiger: *hands One a sheet of Paper *  
  
One: what's this.  
  
Silverstiger: Just a reminder of the contract that you "freely" signed without force or any death threats what so ever saying that you cannot sue us for any health issues you might experience during this fanfic.  
  
One: Wait a minute didn't you blackmail...  
  
Silverstiger: YOU SIGNED THE DAMN PIECE OF PAPER SO THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT SO GET ON WITH THE FANFIC * runs off stage *  
  
One: that was scary  
  
Y: It hap....(sees Nemesis watching him getting ready to pounce)This kind of thing happens every now and again  
  
Alibi: Now that wasn't my fault.  
  
**********************************************************************************************************  
  
One and Y were now walking down the halls when all of a sudden the alarm went off.  
  
One: Y, is that the Maverick alarm?  
  
Y: So we can get to our stations quick and we can hear it...yeah I thought it was pretty loud myself.  
  
One: I wasn't asking you why it was the Maverick alarm; I was asking you if that is the maverick alarm.  
  
Y:...........oh.....You guys really need start choosing your words wisely.  
  
One and Y started running to the maverick area where they found a maverick that looked like Bobafett.  
  
Y: I should have known it was you Violet.  
  
Bobafett guy: My name is violent not violet!  
  
One: Hey Y, what's up with this guy?  
  
Y: Well you see he tried out for a part in a star wars movie… or something like that… and didn't get the part, so he went mad and became a maverick.  
  
One: Oh....Well then I'll just slice him and dice him!!   
  
One dashed at Violet… I mean Violent...  
  
Violent: Hey You guys! I heard you. You called me Violet.  
  
Nemesis: No we didn't.  
  
Violent: Yes you did!!!  
  
Silverstiger: Did not!!  
  
Violent: Did too!!  
  
Silverstiger& Nemsis: Did not!!!  
  
Violent: Did too!!!  
  
Silverstiger& Nemesis: DID NOT!!!!  
  
Violent: DID TOO!!!!!  
  
Nemesis...hold on. gotta narrate this seen real quick...  
  
One stopped dead in his tracks to see the authors and Violet...I mean Violent...  
  
Violent: See, you called me violet again.  
  
Nemesis: SHUT UP!!!!  
  
Violent:....ok....  
  
Nemesis: Now where was I...Oh yeah.....  
  
One stopped dead in his tracks to see the two authoresses and Violent argue over something so stupid. Though he knew that the authoresses would win because for one thing, hell hath no furry like a woman's scorned. Second, they didn't name one of the authoresses Nemesis, the goddess of divine retribution and vengeance, for nothing.  
  
Nemesis: Ok just to make this short Violent, I'm just going to blackmail you and get on with the fanfic. So if for the blackmail, if you don't shut up I'll tell everyone how badly you lost when you went up against the guy who took your part.  
  
Violent:....Ok you win.  
  
Silverstiger: Let's get on with the show.  
  
One continued to charge at Violent with his O-Saber but he dodged it.  
  
Violent: The force is strong with this one. What is this one's name?  
  
One: I'm 1,576 but you can continue calling me one.  
  
Violent:...that's kind of a odd name...but you could have y's name so be grateful.  
  
One: don't worry I am.  
  
Y: I heard that!!!  
  
One: Y, don't you take it personal.  
  
Y: I am taking it personal.  
  
One: No that's not what I meant... oh screw it.  
  
One then tried again to kill Violent but he failed...again.  
  
Y: Use the force One!!!!  
  
*************************************  
  
Silverstiger: well that's it for episode one.  
  
Nemesis: And remember kids. Animals are weird, humans are stupid, and fairies are bent on taking over the world. But as for the mega man X version...... Zero is weird, the Nemesis sama fanfics are stupid, and we all know that X is really only trying to kill Sigma so he can take over the world before him and have everything under his controle and kill every living thing on the face of the earth. See you next time on Mega Man X remake comedy. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Mega Man X and I do not own start wars or anything that has to do with Monty Python and the Holy Grail end of story.   
  
AN: Written by Silverstiger and Nemesis  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Nemesis: Ok you're breaks over now get on with the show.  
  
Zero: You know you're asking a lot for making me play in a movie and have to get along with mavericks?  
  
Silverstiger: I thought we went over this. We didn't name Nemesis after the goddess of divine retribution and vengeance for nothing. Besides we could have Cherry writing this fanfic.   
  
Nemesis: Yeah she would probably make you be best friends with Sigma or make you cut you're hair.  
  
Everyone besides nemesis: *gasp *  
  
Nemesis: Yeah I know it's scary. And even worse, she could give X a deeper voice.  
  
X: Well I could get used to that.  
  
Nemesis: X shut up. You're presence has no meaning in this conversation.  
  
X: Yes it does you were making fun of my voice.  
  
Nemesis... Do you want to be blackmailed again?  
  
X: you don't have anything to blackmail me with so ha.  
  
Nemesis: *whispers in X's ear * I know what you and Alia did last night.  
  
X: *eyes bulge out * Zero let's just get on with the show ok.  
  
Zero: ok.  
  
**********************************************************************************************************  
  
One was dashing at Violet... I mean...er... Violent.  
  
Violent: Hey!!!  
  
Nemesis: Sorry!!! Let me rephrase that.  
  
One was dashing at Violent with great speed. Violent tried to dodge but was too slow. His arm was now completely gone.  
  
One: Ha I won.  
  
Violent: No you didn't.  
  
One: Yes I did I cut off your arm.  
  
Violent: You did not.  
  
One: well then what do you call that?  
  
Violent looked down at his should and found that he had no arm.  
  
Violent: Nothing but a scratch!  
  
One cuts off his other arm.  
  
One: there now I won.  
  
Violent: 'Tis nothing but a flesh wounded.  
  
One: what do you mean!? You have no arms!!!  
  
Violent: Oh you're giving up?! Coward.  
  
One: What?! *Cuts Violent's leg off.* Ok it's official I won.  
  
Violent: Ok for one thing I know your name is one. You don't need to speak like a cave man....  
  
Y: Hey! Are you talking about my mother?!  
  
One: This doesn't concern you Y. Ok you may finish.  
  
Violent: Thank you.... Another thing I shall head butt you...   
  
Violent tries to knock one over with his head but... One cut off his other leg.  
  
Violent: You know maybe we should call this a draw.  
  
One: That's it. Y come on.  
  
Violent: Come on what?  
  
One: No I was speaking to Y.  
  
Violent:...oh,  
  
One and Y started to go into the base.  
  
Violent: no come back!!! I'll bite you're legs off!!!!.... This is going to take some time to get used to.  
  
********************************************************************************************  
  
(Inside maverick base.)  
  
One: Y, what is this place?  
  
Y: It's the maverick base. I'm expecting to find none other than....  
  
One: Than who?  
  
Y: Than...than...Some Evil Guy  
  
Silverstiger: bum bum bum  
  
One: *gasp * No!!! Not Some Evil Guy!!!  
  
Y: Yes...It's him.  
  
One: Well then I got a plan on how to defeat Some Evil Guy.  
  
Y: What? you do?  
  
(An hour later)  
  
Y: I thought you said you had a plan.  
  
One: Well you see I read my lines that are on the little screen that's attached to the camera wrong. I was supposed to say I'll think up a plan on how to defeat Some Evil Guy.  
  
Y: It happens. * Eyes bulge out after he thought about what he just said. *........................Uh oh... (Nemesis comes out of nowhere and tackles Y)  
  
Y: No wait I didn't mean to say it!!!  
  
Nemesis: That's no excuse!!!  
  
Y: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
One: um...Silverstiger...are arms and legs supposed to bend that way.  
  
Silvestiger: I don't thinks so.  
  
One: ...oh.  
  
Y: One HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!  
  
One: You know I would help you but...I'm getting flash backs on when Nemesis beat the crap out of me when I said it so, I'm   
  
just going to um...go over hear. *scoots off towards back stage.  
  
Y: What.... NOOOOOOOO MAKE THE BAD LADY STOP MOMMY!!! MAKE THE BAD LADY STOP!!!!!  
  
Silverstiger...um.... Nemesis we really need to get on with the show so can you stop beating the holy crap out of X.  
  
Nemesis: WHY!!??  
  
Y: What?  
  
Silverstiger& Nemesis:..........  
  
Nemesis: Fine I'll get on with the show.  
  
One comes back on the stage and has his plan.  
  
One: Ok I have my plan.  
  
Y: What is it.  
  
One: *looks at Y seeing that he isn't all bruised up anymore* Damn, you heal fast.  
  
Y:… What's that have to do with the plan.  
  
One...just never mind...Ok here's the plan. We go into this base without any reinforcements what so ever and try to stay alive.  
  
Y: And...?  
  
One: Well that's it.  
  
Y: oh...well isn't that dangerous?  
  
One: Definitely.  
  
Y...oh....ok I guess we better get going then.  
  
One: yeah. Ok you go the extra dangerous way while I go and do all the easy stuff.  
  
Y...um.... that's not safe.  
  
One: Yeah I know that's why I'm sending you down there and not me.  
  
Y: But...  
  
One: I'm glad I got to meet ya buddy.  
  
One goes off in his direction leaving Y standing there feeling unloved.  
  
Y: Why does it always seem like I'm the one who is getting jipped.  
  
Nemesis: Because I'm still mad at you.  
  
Y...oh.  
  
Y then proceeded down his direction.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
(To be continued)  
  
Nemesis: Hello!!!… again.  
  
Silvestiger: We hoped you enjoyed this chapter. Yeah we know it was really stupid.  
  
Nemesis: Oh yeah and next chapter…. Is going to be the next chapter,  
  
Silverstiger: I told you guys she can learn something.  
  
Nemesis: shut up!!  
  
Silverstiger:….ok….well anyway, see you next time on the Mega Man X remake comedy!!  
  
Nemesis: And remember Kids. Zero is weird, Nemesis Sama fanfics are stupid and X is really trying to take over the world.  
  
Silverstiger: You're going to say that after every episode aren't you?  
  
Nemesis: Well I may throw in my mental problems every now and again but for the most part, yeah I'm gonna say that after ever episode.  
  
Silverstiger: Ok….. well see ya guys later it's time for our Humor News job to start.  
  
Nemesis: Bye!!!…AND DON'T STEAL MY LINES!!!! 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Mega Man X and I do not own start wars or anything that has to do with Barney (and I don't want to) end of story.   
  
AN: Written by Silverstiger and Nemesis  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Nemesis: *holding a scythe with a look of pure seriousness in her eyes* Today is the day that I finally kill that stupid....stupid....Dinosaur.  
  
Silverstiger: .....um....Nemesis that's not Barney that your....  
  
Nemesis: HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAA *slash stap*  
  
Nemesis: ....ooops.  
  
Silverstiger: .....brother....  
  
Ranma93: YOU STUPID!!!!  
  
Nemesis: Well um....you know what that could start a new fashiong style.  
  
Ranma93:....looks at little sister evily.  
  
Zero: It's about time that someone kills her  
  
Nemesis: ...um ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!!!!!  
  
**************************************************************  
  
One was now walking down a dark hallway of the base. It looked like a jail room or something.  
  
Voice: Hey over here.  
  
One: Who the heck are you?  
  
Retina: I'm Retina.  
  
One: Oh...well your cute you wanna be my girlfriend so I can kill somebody in the Mega Man X remake comedy 4?  
  
Retina: um....ok but you have to get me out of here.  
  
One: No problem.   
  
One took out his light saber and sliced through the bars.  
  
One: how did you get in there anyway?  
  
Retina: The authoresses put me in there because they didn't know any other way to get me to meet you so that you had some one to kill in Mega Man X remake comedy 4.  
  
One: and you agreed to that?  
  
Retina: Hey if I'm going to spend my last few years I'm gonna spend them in rich years.  
  
One: *mutters* Like they're actually going to pay ya.  
  
Retina: ....what was that?  
  
One: ....nothing. Here you can go now until your need for the fourth sequel.  
  
Retina: Hey wait a minute aren't you supposed to defeat eight bosses first?  
  
One: Well you see it would take to long to write so we're just going to skip through that and go right on to some evil guy.  
  
Retina: but that's boring.  
  
One: Well know because it would get old fast.  
  
Retina: yeah your right ok bye.  
  
One: Bye my soon to die new girlfriend.  
  
************************  
  
(Back to Y)  
  
Y: Why do I always have to do the dirty work in the first one and the second one....and the third one....and it depends on who you pick in four five and six....but still why do I have to do this.  
  
Y continued down the long halls. He had just defeated another whole room full of mavericks. He opened the little door that just screamed out that there was going to be a hard boss in the next room.   
  
Door: THERE IS GOING TO BE A HARD BOSS IN THE NEXT ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Y:................................................................................................ok.......................................................Y opened the door to reveal Violet!  
  
Violent: IT'S VI-O-LENT!!!  
  
Nemesis: Hey complain to me afterwards! I'm still trying to talk my brother out of killing me!  
  
Violent: ....ok..... Well anyway..... NOW IT'S TIME TO FACE ME!  
  
Y: But I'm not that stong and....  
  
Next thing you k now One busts into the room with style.  
  
One: don't worry Y I'll take care of him.  
  
Y: One, No! Don't you know that you are destined to die in this fight!  
  
One: Not if I stay clear of the weird capsule thingy  
  
Y: Yeah....that could work.  
  
One: Now....OK Violent it time to die  
  
Goese into next room. And you can here screams, things blowing up, and people dieing, and then everything stops. Y walks in.  
  
Y: ....Oh sure....stay away from the weird capsule thingy he says.  
  
One: Y, can't you see that's it not as easy as it looks?  
  
Y: I don't know.  
  
One: No that's not what I was asking.... Just one sec and let me blow up real quick.  
  
Y: Ok.  
  
One bursts out of the capsule thingy and jumps on Violent and self destructs.  
  
Nemesis: *still fighting her brother* It happens....  
  
Y: ONE!! NOOOO....I guess I'll kill you now  
  
They fight, Y wins using a whole bunch of rockets. Then goes to One.  
  
One: Y.....  
  
Y: What is it?  
  
One: Just....make....sure....you kill....Some Evil Guy Okay....  
  
Y: Okay... *sniff* And then I'm going out with that chick in the last scene.  
  
One: *stands up and all of a sudden he's better* WHAT?! NO WAY SHE'S MINE PAL!!! KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF   
  
HER....*lies back down and dies*'  
  
Y:....*sniff sniff* Ok man.... *sniff*  
  
******************************************  
  
Nemesis: So will you kill me?  
  
Ranma93: No not that you gave me the cool look.  
  
Silverstiger: That was smart dressing him up like Ranma.  
  
Nemesis: I know.  
  
Zero: Crap now we still have to suffer.  
  
X: man I can't believe you won't let me go out with Iris.  
  
Iris: Well I wouldn't go out with you anyway.  
  
X: Why not!  
  
Iris: Because I like Zero and I refuse to be killed by anyone else.  
  
X:...oh  
  
Nemesis: Remember Kids!!! Zero is weird, Nemesis Sama fanfics are stupid, and X is bent on world domination.  
  
X: I am not   
  
Silverstiger: uh huh....keep telling yourself that. 


End file.
